A Programmer's Guide to Workplace Combat

By Super Neuro

A video of a product manager and a programmer fighting in the office has been circulated on the Internet. According to an insider, the programmer could not help but fight with the product manager because the product manager asked the user's APP theme color to automatically adjust according to the phone case.

This article aims to provide theoretical guidance, role model setting, and psychological preparation for the combat scenarios that programmers may encounter in the workplace.

Event review

The incident occurred at the technology center of Ping An Property & Casualty Insurance. Both of them have been fired by Ping An and notified.

This afternoon, it was reported that the two had a physical conflict while going through the resignation procedures at the company.

Because we don't know the whole story and the specific details, we will no longer spread unconfirmed news, nor make speculations or conclusions. This article aims to provide theoretical guidance, role model setting, and psychological construction for programmers who may encounter combat scenarios in the workplace.

Fighting Road: All the big guys have been there

Many opinions on the Internet are like, "Wow, how unreliable is this product manager to force a programmer to take action?"

But in fact, many technical experts also like to get their hands dirty. Who isn’t a passionate person?

Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata hits shareholders during meeting

At Nintendo's investor conference a few years ago, CEO Satoru Iwata got into a fight with a shareholder who repeatedly asked when Nintendo would enter the mobile gaming market, causing the question-and-answer session to be suspended.

The shareholder asked when Nintendo would start making mobile games, and Iwata replied: "Nintendo does not plan to make any Android or Apple mobile games. I suggest you pay attention to the 3DS handheld."

The shareholder then pressed Iwata on whether Nintendo's earnings would be affected if it did not involve mobile games. After Iwata answered his question, the host reminded the shareholder that his time for questions had run out, but the shareholder continued to ask questions.

During this period, Iwata had been suppressing his emotions, but then the shareholder said that if Nintendo did not make mobile games, he would instead invest in third-party production teams to make games for Sony.

At this time, Iwata rushed down from the podium, rushed towards the shareholder, and punched him in the face, causing him to bleed. Then the security guards escorted the two men out of the venue.Later, other Nintendo employees took over from Iwata and the question-and-answer session continued.

Later, the shareholder said he would sell all his Nintendo shares and invest in Zynga.

Larry Ellison: The tough life of Silicon Valley's richest man

As the CEO of Oracle, the world's second largest software company, Larry Ellison is a genius but also a madman.

He once canceled a meeting with an important client because he was watching a football game, and was asked to leave the podium by security guards after giving a speech at Yale University to encourage college students to drop out. He has criticized technology giants such as Microsoft and IBM, and has also launched a protracted patent war with Google.

He wears expensive suits and creates constant scandals. In addition to luxury cars and private jets, he truly lives and spends as much time as he can.

But his battlefield is a little bit unbelievable and inaccessible to us mortals.

Larry Ellison had an Italian-made Marchetti S.211 fighter plane with its weapons removed, and he used it in simulated air combat with others.

He either doesn't fight, or when he does, he just masturbates.

Jack Ma: All-star lineup records fighting moments

A dad is a dad. When Jack Ma makes a move, half of the entertainment industry will record this wonderful growth (da jia) process for him.

This 20-minute-long micro-film "Kung Fu Yoga" is directed by Wen Zhang, produced by Jet Li, and stars Jack Ma, Wu Jing, Donnie Yen, and Zou Shiming.

The film tells the story of an unremarkable middle-aged man (the character played by Jack Ma) who, when passing by the gate of the "Huashan Sect", imagines himself passing through five gates and killing six generals to obtain the secret book of martial arts.

Money can really do whatever you want

In addition to these numerous domestic and foreign first-line stars, the guest lineup of this movie is also very luxurious, including Huang Xiaoming, Li Chen, and Tong Dawei. The purpose is to realize the martial arts (da jia) dream in the heart of Jack Ma.

Friendly Tips

Finally, we must make it clear and emphasize the ultimate truth that “violence cannot solve problems.”

Martial arts novels are an important memory of youth for many people, and they are inevitable to imitate. It is just that the characters in the books are more handsome, their movements are more advanced, and their bodies are more graceful, so these martial arts masters are always called "heroes". But in fact, most of the scenes in martial arts novels are about gathering together to fight and then picking up girls.

It should be clear that reality is not imagination. For ordinary people like us, if we fight in a society ruled by law, we will be breaking the rules and laws and may even be sentenced.

After all, "the greatest heroes serve their country and their people", not "discussing needs and disagreeing on something".